


Northern Exposure (Tinker Bell Book 2)

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Series: Finding Home Away From Home (GQ/NB Dean Winchester with Shadow Moon Fics) [13]
Category: American Gods (TV), American Gods - Neil Gaiman, Gabriel (2007), Norse Religion & Lore, Once Upon a Time (TV), Peter Pan & Related Fandoms, Supernatural
Genre: Angels are not Dicks, Asexual Character, Asexual Dean Winchester, Asexual Relationship, Asexual Umbrella, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Best Friends, Beverages, Book 2, Book 2: Northern Exposure, But Really Dean Is In Love With His Best Friend, Cinnamon rolls, Coffee, Comfort Food, Complete, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dark Peter Pan, Dean Has Powers, Dean Winchester is Loved, Dean and Shadow are Queerplatonic, Dean and Shadow are best friends, Dean is Fae, Dean is Loved, Dean is a Good Friend, Domestic, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Evil Peter Pan, Evil Sam, Evil Sam Winchester, Fae & Fairies, Fae Dean Winchester, Fae Gender, Fae Magic, Fae expressing as a part of gender (but with magic too :) ), Food, Grey-Asexual Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, I Brought In Angels From Another Fandom Basically, I'm gonna go ahead and say this Dean is Ace-ish, In Which Dean Basically Just Wants to Sip Tea and Cuddle, Mead, Mirrors, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Dean, One of My Favorites, Other, POV Second Person, Panromantic Dean Winchester, Pasties, Peter Pan Sam, Peter Pan Sam is Haunting the Author, Peter pan is evil, Pie, Queer Gen, Queer Shadow Moon, Queerplatonic Relationships, Relationshippy without being relationshippy is what I do best right now, Sam is Peter Pan, Sam is a minor character, Sam is the Skilled Hunter, Shadow Moon Has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shadow Moon is Loved, Shadow and Winchester Have Hireath Because of Course They Do, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Spoilers for American Gods subplots, Tea, That Feel When You're Constantly Coming Out To Yourself, Timeline What Timeline, Trans, Trans Dean, Trans Dean Winchester, non-canon angels, pastry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-05 12:07:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 10,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11577768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: Shadow and Tinker Bell Winchester are reunited. (Spoilers in this section of the story go deep into the territory of the printed American Gods. If you want to remain spoiler free until season 2 don't read this book, just content yourself with book 1 for a while--this is why they are separate.)For those who know what this means: Shadow and Dean are in Lakeside. It is cute because Neil drew/wrote it that way, they are cute because I need something cute in my life. This section of whatever this thing I'm writing is mostly their reunion with side plots from American Gods. I am trying to keep the level of spoileriness for things past season 1 of the show as low lying as possible i.e. very general, which is part of why I'm keeping the American Gods plot in the background. Also though I just need this cuteness due to life stress.





	1. Shadow Comes Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nanonym27](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nanonym27/gifts), [sirensnares](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirensnares/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Tinker Bell](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11342808) by [roguefaerie (samidha)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie). 



> PLEASE NOTE: Book 1 has no major spoilers (all conjecture and fusion) past the AG TV S1 finale. But book 2 takes you deeper into the subplots of American Gods, and they are big. So book 2 has spoilers. If you don't want to read this until during S2 or even S3 (not sure how close to these events S2 will get), I totally understand, if your exposure is the show.
> 
> Book 1 is here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11342808/chapters/25384320
> 
> Seriously, I wanted to wait til S2 to do this, but Peter Pan Sam (as I call him) is haunting me. So he might as well be on the page. I have to say this is the creepiest Sam I've ever written. (He is not in establishing chapters, so no worries yet.) Welcome to book 2 at the urging of a few enabling readers. :) Book 2: Northern Exposure begins now. It will all be in one book/work this time.
> 
> Here is the soundtrack for this section of the book:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/user/121274586/playlist/3Pn4rkfcR81jtrxzJ8Iaq3

You are so glad Shadow is home that you could cry, and sometimes you do. When he walks in the door, you hug him tighter than you even thought you could hug human beings. When neither of you wants to stand up to hug you’re eventually draped over the couch and just breathing your best friend in like the air on the ocean, like freedom.

“I missed you,” you say. “So much has happened I--I don’t even know where to start.”

“Well, you’re lookin’ like yourself…” He brushes a little wetness from your cheek, “So I can tell.”

“I went through the wringer for it… Doctors, therapists… but--ha!--this is the best part…. I’ve been declared mentally sound. I want hormones because I want hormones and they’ll let me have them.”

“And now you’re you…”

“Now I’m me. With a little stick and poke.”

Shadow laughs, loud and full. “Missed you. I. I missed you.”

“I really wanna get out of here, though, I dunno what it is… I dunno what has me on edge…”

“Me too but I wasn’t leavin’ on my own. I’d never do that to you, just abandon you someplace,” Shadow murmurs.

“I know. It was hard, though. Doing all these things on my own. I’ve been on my own before but this was different. Powerful.”

“I know. You are.”

You duck your head a little. “Thank you.”

“Hey,” he whispers. “It’s just us here.”

“It was hard,” you say. “Is it always going to be so hard?”

“Well, I’m home. And I’m here to support you. Not take over your life.”

You blow out a breath. “I know. I mean I think I know. No, I do. I know.”

“I understand. With...with everything.”

“I still want you to be here,” you say. “Thank goodness you’re here. Shadow, thank goodness.”

“I’m here,” he murmurs and pulls you close. “Right here, Winchester. I’m home.”

*~*~*

“I dunno, I feel like I should be packing a bag, it’s like an itch I haven’t had in so long,” you say.

“Me too.” Shadow pauses. “D’you think…?”

“Do _you_ think it’s coming from Odin?”

“Could be. Could be.”

The bathroom is big enough for both of you to stand in front of the mirror--the universe planning ahead. You both take off in that direction.

“My dears,” Odin says with a craggy smile, “I see you there. There is somewhere I am going to send you. Together. Have no worries for you will be together. The universe...has an understanding.”

“Father,” you say, all reverence and sore heart. “Thank you for coming to be seen today. Thank you for coming.”

“You are welcome, my dear Winchester. All is well.”

And so it was.

*~*~*

It was the first time Shadow saw Odin in the mirror. 

When the instructions were fully given and the Allfather faded away, Shadow catches your eye in the mirror and you turn to face his dumbfounded expression.

“I mean I knew that was how you do it but wow, Winchester. That’s powerful. You are.”

You smile. “Faerie, I guess.”

“Do you pull him in?”

“I don’t know, not really, probably more like just help the reception when he wants to show up.”

“That’s so cool. So cool. So...when do you want to be off?”

“Ugh, I want pizza and a beer and salt and you, here for a while before we go. Please? Missed you. Remember?”

Shadow looks up at you with glittering eyes. “I remember. Here. You need a hug. Human contact.”

“I really, really do.”

“Me too,” Shadow whispers. Then, a little firmer, “I gotcha, Winchester. Hugs first, pizza second, beer and sleep.”

“God, that sounds amazing.”

“Let’s do it.”

You both race to the couch and soon you are enfolded right where you want to be.


	2. When Night Falls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two make my heart explode ahhhhh the cinnamon roll factor....

You wake with wetness on your face and fear in your heart. The nightmare is nothing--you don’t remember it--but the adrenaline is real. You try to breathe and thank your lucky stars your hunter instincts never really developed, not like Sam’s. You curl in tighter where you are sleeping--you and Shadow fell asleep on the couch and you’ve been holding onto him for dear life.

“Don’t leave,” you hear him murmur in his own dreams. You pull him close and touch his forehead to yours. He wakes up, startled, and smiles a watery smile at you. 

“Winchester,” he says, like it’s a holy word. “Thank you.”

There’s so much expressed in those three words. You feel it hit you in the chest.

_Thank you for letting me come home._

_Please don’t leave. Please don’t make me leave._

_Thank you for being here._

“We’re a pair, huh?”

“Shadow. Gotcha. Gotcha. Nobody is forcing us apart. Not again. Not ever again.”

“Been...been...fighting Technical Boy’s goons too long. They...they can really torture you, you know? Show you things. Tell you things.”

“I’m right here. And Shadow, I’m real.”

“Faeries are real. I know. I saw.”

You smile. “I used to try to tell Sam I wasn’t a faerie just to try to get out of ‘helping’ him. It didn’t work that well. He knew.”

“Tinker Bell,” Shadow says softly. “Stay. Please?”

“Not going anywhere. But Shadow…”

“Yeah?”

“You’re a mess. We’re a mess.”

“We can be a mess together. Please stay.”

“I’ve got you,” you say, like he’s told you so many times before.

“Is...is this okay? This, everything? I left you, I had things...for Wednesday, but it doesn’t make it right.”

“I trust my Father,” you say. “I had things I needed to get settled. It was so hard, but I got them done, I….I….”

“You did. And you’re so beautiful as yourself.”

Tears form in your eyes. “Thank you. You see me?”

“Do you see you? Is it better now?”

“I do.”

Shadow pulls you in close. “So...still the nightmares…”

“For both of us.”

“Mmhmm. But how’s the dysphoria?”

“B-better. Not perfect. Still happens. But I see me now.”

“In the mirror and everything?”

“Yes, even in the mirror.”

“I missed talks like this,” Shadow whispers. “I...are you sure…?”

“Let’s just not....decide what it is, let’s just….be it.”

“I love you,” Shadow says, fierce and earnest.

“I love you too. Welcome home.”

You two keep holding on, squeezed together side by side and never wanting to let go.

Not for anything.


	3. On the Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From here forward there are book spoilers.

A breeze is blowing when you wake again and you nudge Shadow to wake him too. A window is open, curtain billowing. “Shit! Shadow!”

Shadow blinks up at you. 

Scared.

“They’re moving us along,” you say to him gently.

“Is--is that what the wind says?”

He lets you take his hand and you squeeze it. “Shadow, listen, breathe, I gotcha, we’re okay.”

“And the wind?”

“It says get moving.”

This is something both of you are good at, separately and together.

You pile into Shadow’s current rental. “Rental? Really?” you ask him.

“I--wasn’t-sure-you-would-want-me-to-stick-around,” he says.

“Well let’s try to find something else where we’re going.”

“Lakeside. I wonder what’s there.”

“I dunno, but we’re about to find out.”


	4. Traveling

The whole way to Lakeside, you hold Shadow’s hand on the gearshift. He doesn’t say anything or try to stop you. In fact, you realize pretty quickly that his hand is shaking and that holding it makes him shake less.

 

“Sh-Shadow. Hey.” You drum your fingers over his lightly to indicate what you’ve discovered.

“I just feel…” he starts. He looks you in the eye for a second. “I…” He pulls onto the side of the road quickly.

“Your eyes,” he says, mesmerized. “Can you...can you...again?”

You blink at him, a little confused, but then you think of the battlefield filling with the stars of so many faeries.

“I love it about you, keeps me calm. Can I see you?”

He doesn’t mean in the mirror, you are well aware. He means in the ether.

You think back to what you did that night and push as much energy out as you can.

The car lights up like you’re in a field of fireflies once more.

“Been...been so anxious...haven’t seen this in so long…” He blushes. “It sort of became...my far away heaven,” he says softly. “Now it’s here.”

You smile. “It’s love,” you say just as quietly, and then add, “Well, I think so. Love for...just...everything...since I found my way.”

“Love you, Winchester,” he says dreamily. “Thank you, I...thank you.”

“You needed it.”

“You trust me,” he says, surprised and a little chagrined.

“Damn right I do.”

“I haven’t been here.”

“Shadow. Shad. Listen to me.”

Shadow looks at you, and you see a familiar expression you often wear on your own heart-worn face. Wanting to believe but not being sure…

“Breathe. You’re here now. You’ve been through hell--while I was in corporate hell. You’re allowed to have any feelings you want and need--you know how you used to tell me that?”

“Mm.”

“But you’re here now and you’re safe. I missed you but I always knew you were coming. I’ll help you. You can do this. You are-- Look at all that firefly love you just got,” you say and smile.

He’s getting more anxious instead of less and you know this song and dance too.

“Please, no,” he says.

“Shadow, you single-handedly brought me back from the brink. Knowing you were in the world, it gave me strength to do it all. Now...let me give back to you. We didn’t get enough time to rest, you need more rest. I’ll take over driving, and in Lakeside...there’s something to do...but it’ll be quiet there. We’ll have time to recoup. Together. Okay?”

Shadow nods wordlessly. He lets you take the driver’s seat and he puts his hand over yours on the gear shift. He’s a mess and there’s more to talk about. But men...they can only talk for so long before they shut down--you know this and Shadow is demonstrating this.

You ask the fireflies not to obstruct your vision and they fill the car with light the whole rest of the way.


	5. Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving in Lakeside. Shadow is struggling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I moved Lakeside from Wisconsin to Minnesota so that it would be safer for Winchester to get hormones, as I've been hearing awful things about trans healthcare in Wisconsin, where Lakeside is originally supposed to be.
> 
> Here there be book spoilers in a general way, as Lakeside is a location in the print American Gods. Book 2 will have them in general. So if you want to remain spoiler free for and in time with the show, stick to book 1. This is why I separated em.

Lakeside, Minnesota, 2005

Shadow is sleeping when you pull into Lakeside with the keys that were left to you for a small apartment about a hundred miles from civilization. You nudge him awake and he sleepily follows you in. It’s freezing. Needs to be weatherized like nobody’s business. The car has heat and you consider going back to doze in it. But also there’s a couch and two beds here.

Shadow engulfs you in another hug. “Wherever,” he says. “Just you. Us.”

You run a hand through his hair. “Ssh. I gotcha. Just us.”

One day you will talk about how in the time since you’ve seen Shadow his own raging case of PTSD has taken the wheel. But that day will come when the apartment is comfortable, when he’s comfortable.

Shadow is careful. Careful the way he curls against you. Careful what he says, almost like his words have dried up since the earnest way he told you he loved you just days earlier.

“I don’t want to...over...over...step...I…”

“Shad. I’m here, babe. You haven’t done anything wrong. The apartment’s freezing, do you wanna lay down in the back of the car?”

“With….”

“Yeah, with me.”

“Don’t let go.”

“I won’t.”

The radiator blasts and the last of the fireflies twinkle and when you feel Shadow moving through a flashback you just hold on and wait.


	6. The Next Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're still getting used to each other's company again, but things will start moving along in the next chapter.

You wake with your arms wrapped around Shadow and your heart sings. You know it was a rough night for him. I’ll have to remember everything he taught me to pull him out of this.

The inside of the car is remarkably warm but everything else is going to be a disaster.

You don’t want to let him go. You don’t want to wake him, either. But then again, love courses through you just thinking about him and--the fireflies brighten.

He wakes up. He’s tense at first, then relaxes against you. “Can it just be like this forever? Do we have to move?”

“I dunno. How’s your back?”

“Awful.”

“There’s your answer, I guess. Also, we’re gonna need coffee.”

Shadow sighs. “I just…”

You smile at him. “I could spend a week there too.”

He turns his attention fully toward you and nods.”Okay. Thank you.”

“You were probably hoping Odin would give us more time.”

“Well, there’s a war on, and I know he wants to protect us.” Shadow admits. “It hasn’t gone away and--and--”

“And you’ve been through hell. I know he needed to but I wish he hadn’t separated us.”

“You needed what you needed, Winchester. I would never begrudge you that.”

“Yeah, well right now I need coffee and if we were in some other bizarro world you’d need a therapist but we’ll figure it out.”


	7. The Visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet some locals.

A rap comes on the window and you see the shape of a person--must be a local--wrapped in dark winter gear.

He motions and you sit up, then roll the window down a tiny bit for him.

“I thought there were two of ya in there. Heater’s workin’, that’s good… You stuck?”

“Apartment’s freezing,” you manage. “We stayed out here.”

“Ah, yeah, hasn’t been winterized, no one’s been in there. I can help you get the stuff you need. Name’s Hinzelmann.”

“Winchester,” you say. “And this,” you squirm suddenly, aware of, well, what it looks like to others now if you’re glomming onto your best friend and-- when they’re in the middle of flashbacks from hell. It doesn’t look too innocent. “This is Shadow. He--”

“In this weather, you gotta huddle together for warmth. I get it. You two’ll stay warmer if we all keep movin’. Want a ride in Tessie?”

“A ride?”

“To the store an’ I’ll grab ya some winter gear, get you some lunch.”

You and Shadow exchange looks. He’s spent, even with the sleep he got in the back. There’s so much more to talk about, and you don’t want to let him go either.

“Sure,” you force yourself to say.

“You better both come,” Hinzelmann says. “I don’t know nobody’s size here.”

Musical cars. One thing you realize about you and Shadow is that your claustrophobic feeling in cars almost evaporates when he’s with you. You sit in the back with him and put a hand on his knee, that is jiggling. You lean in close and whisper in his ear, “I know. Breathe.” He leans back like all the fight goes out of him and he tries to follow your directions. “Got--Gotcha.” Then you lean back against him.

You don’t care if this old man sees.

Even if this whole scenario is right out of every hitchhiker horror story there is, you trust that Odin sent you to the right place. You trust you’ll be okay here.

Hinzelmann makes a studious effort not to notice anything. You get to the general store and he tosses you winter socks, boots, even gunk to tarp up your windows with. “Do me a favor,” he says, “Consider it on me. If you got cash, I got somewhere I can take you for a good warm meal, an’ you can buy me a coffee if you want. Welcome to Lakeside.”

Everyone is really nice inside the pasty shop. You and Shadow eat huge ones. Shadow mostly lets you do the talking. Something’s definitely going on with him, the exhuberance has all gone out of him since you last saw him four years ago. 

_Four years_.. Your heart aches, there is a physical ache in your chest. Jesus. You need your best friend now more than ever. And a warm house. You need a house with heat.

Hinzelmann has come back to the house with you, won’t let you out of his sight until you’re safely indoors, and he does something that makes the pipes go chug and then the heat does come up suddenly, a subtle change in the air.

You feel Shadow relax again.

“Okay, great, thank you, Hinzelmann! Thanks a lot! We owe you one.”

“Don’t forget I’m doin’ the raffle in a few days, buy your tickets, that’s all the thanks I need.”

And he is gone and you’re alone with shellshocked Shadow.

You remember this look, in a way, seeing it on the faces of shellshocked hunters, people who weren’t able to make it as far in the game as the Winchesters ever were.

But this is Shadow. This is your best friend. Your. Your. Whatever he is to you now. Best friend who you wouldn’t part with until the end of the world--is that a thing? Is that like, “relationship designation: obsessed”? Or is it for real?

_Leave it to you, Winchester, to always push the boundaries of things that are supposed to be things or not._

Right now Shadow’s swaying a little bit on his feet.

“Okay. Gotcha.”

“Cold.”

“I know. Let’s get some of this winter gear on you, even though we’re inside. The heat’ll take a little while to catch up. Then I’ll...well if you want I can…”

Shadow’s voice comes to you as if far away. “Like last night. Please? The...this sounds weird, but the pressure helped.”

“Okay. Yes.”

*~*~*

Once you’re in bed in all of your gear and holding onto Shadow’s hand...you can’t help but ask him… “What did Wednesday do to you?”

He shakes a little and doesn’t answer.

Not yet, then.

Okay.

You curl up against him, applying all the pressure you can, as requested, and you just let him fall asleep.

It’s a long time before you feel right enough to do the same.


	8. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes with PTSD...from being heroes....and also, feelings.

You and Shadow sit drinking coffee in the apartment. There are people to meet whose televisions and children you can hear next door but you’re both a little too skittish just yet.

“Shadow,” you say, just to have words in the air. He focuses on you, his eyes suddenly not as cloudy.

“Hey.”

“How’s the coffee?”

“Good. It’s good, Winchester. Listen, it’s…” He pauses. For a long time. “It’s not you. And I’m really glad you’re here. I just… I just wish…” Frustration passes over his face.

You are beginning to guess what he might say.

“Our place,” he says, “It was really nice. Our life. It was nice for five seconds, you know?”

“It can be like that again. Maybe it’ll be that way again here. I could eat a pasty or two every day.”

Shadow laughs, and you feel some of his warmth returning.

“Yeah. Maybe you’re right. Hinzelmann…”

“Yeah, he seemed sort of like a solid guy.”

“Yeah…”

“Didn’t bat an eye.”

“I bet he’s seen some shit nobody knows in his life. Um...Win--Winchester it’s just…”

“I’m here.”

“I--me too.”

“No matter what this turns out to be.The war, this town, your health... I’m here.”

“I seem that bad, huh?”

“What?”

“That you gotta mention my health.”

There is silence for a few beats.

“Well.”

More silence.

“Shadow, you’re not any more messed up than I was when we met. So...it’s my turn.”

“Yeah. Okay.” It comes out a little harsh.

“I me--I mean if you want.”

Shadow sighs. “No, I do.”

“More coffee? Or do you need water?”

“I dunno. Feel like shit. Headache.”

“Both.”

Shadow looks at you with concern in his eyes. “I....don’t know...how you do it.”

“You’re my best friend. I’d move heaven and earth for you. Coffee’s no big deal.”

“I mean like the hunting life, all that.”

“Oh.” A soft chuckle, from low in your throat. “Reluctantly. Here.” You pass him his coffee and a bottle of water. But this….”

“Yeah?”

“This is just love, Shadow. Like you taught me. Let me give it back to you. No strings.”

Shadow huffs out a breath. “I will. I do. Okay.” He pauses. “I feel like my heart’s gonna explode.”

“I do too.”

“Well...if that’s the case we might as well have exploding hearts together, right?”

“Damn right.”

Shadow laughs a little and you smile at each other, and then you lean in and kiss him on the forehead. “For your headache.”

“We’re ridiculously sappy.”

“I’m fae, what’s your excuse?”

“Being your best friend. Bad influence.”

“Good influence.”

“Yeah. Yes. I agree.”

“Good morning. Drink up. And let me know if you need more pressure.”

“I will.”


	9. Light Up My Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winchester is a faerie and Shadow is not alone.

Winter is serious business in Lakeside, Minnesota, and it’s a bit more than either of you are used to. You pad around the apartment in two pairs of socks and you make sure to have tea and coffee brewing at all times.

Shadow is somber. He reaches out and brushes hair out of your way now and then--after all, you grew your hair out a little, not too much but enough--and he smiles up into your face but his expression is pained.

A few days in, he sits on the couch and you crouch in front of him. “Hey. Shad. You wanna talk to me about it?”

“Ugh. Tea first?”

You gesture to his almost untouched mug of tea on the coffee table and he laughs a laugh with sadness on the edges.

“I don’t know, Winchester,” he says, “I don’t feel like we’re winning the war. And you and I...we were fighting it in our own ways, but alone.”

“We were. But we’re not now. Look.”

And he does. And he smiles. “Your eyes have stars in them. How could they not love you to pieces?” he asks, not thinking much about what he’s really saying. “Shit. Winchester. Hey.” He slides to the floor and pulls you tightly against him. “That was stupid of me.”

“N-no. You can see my eyes. You can see...what I’m always trying to….”

“Of course I can. I can see you. I told you, remember?”

“Yeah.”

“And you showed me in the car.”

You bark out a laugh. Self-depricating. “Yeah. I did. But you saw them anyway. You been dreamin’ of ‘em?”

Shadow laughs silently, his shoulders shaking. When he recovers he says, “Yes, I have. I think they’re heaven.” He gives you another squeeze and you end up in another one of those bone-crushing hugs.

“You’re not alone, Shad,” you say, “And we’ll figure it out. Together.”

“Will you light it up in here?” he asks, soft and open.

And you do.


	10. Meet the Neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tinker Bell goes for a supply run and meets the next door neighbor.

You and Shadow are running out of hot drinks. Eventaully it was going to have to happen--venturing out into the cold, cruel world. You’ll bring him home a pasty. You palm the keys of the car and pen him a note. GONE FOR COFFEE.

You draw fireflies and a tiny Tinker Bell on the right side of the note. You are a patented dork. It’s fine.

As you are closing the door behind you and standing under the wooden awning that bridges all of the apartments, you turn and see a blonde woman, maybe ten years your senior. She looks up at you and blinks.

“Hi,” she says, and you feel more than hear that watery something in her voice that says it hasn’t been long since she’s been crying.

“Hi.”

“You’re the new--new guy--I mean, people in town.”

You smile a little. “We’re new. I’m Winchester.”

“You got a last name, or is that it?”

“That’s it. Winchester.”

“Spooky. I’m Marguerite Olsen. Lived here my whole life. Not that many new people comin’ through.”

“Still, it’s a nice place to call home. I’m off for some supplies and one of those pasties. I love pastry.”

She smiles. “You behave yourself and maybe someone’ll make you a pie.”

You smile brightly. “Hey. Maybe they will. I’ll look forward to that.”

“How’s your friend? I hear him, but I don’t know’s I seen him out yet.”

“Oh, when we came into town he had this thing, you know, head cold. I’m dumpin’ a lot of tea down him.”

“Careful goin’ around the lake. It’s gonna be colder’n you ‘spect.”

You are sure she’s right and suddenly you are ready to start going about your errands as quickly as you can. You say a little thank you to Odin, Loki, Tyr and Thor as the car turns over on the first try. You take a little swig of mead, swish it around and swallow one mouthful, then tip a little bit out the window. Why not, every now and then?

I dedicate this car working to Odin.

On the way about the errands you think a lot about what Shadow’s said.so far, about the war and how you are not winning it by any stretch and you try to think….what in hell you and he are going to do besides the fact that, Jesus, you’d spend the rest of your days making sure he’s all right, just because you could.

And hell, maybe that’s all you need, maybe that’s all there is, except--

Except Sam. Sammael. Mr. World. And Gabriel and Jade still out there in the world with their friends and brothers too. The world doesn’t sleep, not just because a Winchester wishes it would.

Still, you hope in the end you and Shadow are a thing. You hope when the world’s done ending you’re both left standing there. Together and because that’s how you like it.

With the groceries in tow, you speed off back to the apartment. You go around the cold side of the lake and as you take the long way you see the clunker out on the ice.

You forgot raffle tickets.


	11. Lakeside Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who Shadow and Tinker Bell are when they're at home.

Shadow sighs. “I don’t even know what I’m sad about,” he says, “I don’t even know if it’s worth it to be sad. You’re right here. What’s wrong with me, Winchester?”

“Shadow?”

“Yeah?”

“You were scared, weren’t you? You were so scared when you got home to me you had whiplash.”

“Layers. There were layers of sad.” He curls into your side and you move a little bit so that he’s jiggling in place.

_Gotcha. Gotcha. Gotcha._

“Exactly.”

“Maybe I shoulda kept moving, maybe slowing down was a mistake.”

“And leave me out of your tour de force? I don’t _think_ so, boy.”

Shadow laughs. It’s not the deep, confident laughter you’re used to, but you’ll take it. Then he trails off and goes quiet.

“All of this, it’s pretty scary. Wednesday just sending us places. You know? Never knowing what’s....but...I guess it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“And I’ve got you.” You wink at him, sending out a little sparkle and shine.

“So did she think you were pretty?”

“Huh?”

“The neighbor. Did she think you were pretty?”

“Oh, I don’t know. She was a little confused, but I guess they don’t meet that many faeries around here. But Shadow….”

“Yeah?”

“She cries at night.”

“She’s the one, huh?”

“Yeah.”

You both fall into quiet contemplation once more.

“That sucks.”

“I could start researching at the library,” you say. “Winchester style.”

Shadow sighs. “Do we...I mean yeah I guess we do. But we could split up the work.”

“Are you ready for it?”

“No. But I know I’m here for Wednesday, not my own private mopefest.”

“Hey. I love your mopefest. It’s like a private tea party.”

“Stop being so cute,” Shadow demands halfheartedly.

“No, you like me this way.”

“I do.”

“So tomorrow, off to the library?”

“Yeah.”

“Shadow?” You search his face.

“Huh?”

“How are the nightmares?”

Shadow groans.

“Because it doesn’t have to be tomorrow. That woman has an old hurt.”

“No. It’s tomorrow. I’ve heard her through the wall.”

You sigh and nod. “Okay, but tonight can we just….”

Shadow smiles. “You want me to yourself?”

“You and a book,” you admit.

“And tea.”

“And tea,” you agree.

“Whatever you say, old librarian fuddy duddy,” Shadow says and grins.

“You know what’s weird?”

“Huh?”

“I doubt there’s even a word for this but this--you--me--it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Go get a book, I’ll make the tea, we’ll cuddle in close. It’s okay, Winchester. We’re okay.”


	12. Research

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadow finally emerges from the cocoon of the apartment. It's nice to have someone helping him out and even doing half the research. Raffle tickets at last, Chad Mulligan lurking, it's a good time.

You and Shadow make it to the pasty shop together before heading to the library. Raffle tickets are on sale there and you each grab a couple when you’re given the look that says you may be new but you will participate. And sure. You will. You and Shadow grab a block of them together.

In the library, you feel a little more out of place. You want to transform it into your living room with the twinkling ceiling and with beverages allowed.

“I know we love books,” you tell Shadow, “But I can make short work of this, really. Research is what we do, new weird schemes every week it seems.”

“I trust you, Winchester.”

And you know, suddenly, down to your bones, that he does.

You think of that night, curled around each other like two people seeking refuge in having every bit of skin touching someone else, and how free and easy it is and how it just means touch and love. You wish you and Shadow didn’t have PTSD from hell just for doing the right things in life, but if you have to, you’ll carry the memory of holding him at night forward with you like a talisman.

Around two in the afternoon you and Shadow meet up with the information you’ve found.

“There’s been a series of abductions here,” you say, and Shadow’s eyes grow dark with knowing, “I’ve been seeing posters…”

“It’s not just one kid, it’s lots of kids,” you tell him.

“Maybe it’ll be noted in these,” he holds up a few log books by year. “Let’s take one back to the apartment and see what they’re about.”

You help each other bundle up, put the book in Shadow’s bag once it’s cleared for check-out, and try to act nonchalant as you pass the cop car--the one cop car--in town. Chad Mulligan is off duty, eating his pasty.

You are ready to spend another week reading under a starry, firefly sky but you have a feeling things might heat up soon.


	13. The Things We Never Know (They Know Not What They Do)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadow finally starts to open up about what he's been through, including Laura's death. (Spoilers: American Gods TV S1 first episode)

Shadow wakes in the middle of the night, screams, and you hear him dry heaving over the side of the bed. You can tell from where you are in the kitchen that he’s having a body memory. You just know.

You run into the room and stand close, not reaching out into the dark to meet a flailing leg or a fist. “Shad?”

He breathes hard. After a few more heaves he callls weakly, “Winchester?”

“Yeah?”

“Tinker Bell?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you--?”

You come closer and he wraps a hand around your wrist. “Thank you.”

“I heard you.”

“I-- I-- I know. Winchester….”

“Is it time to talk?”

“I...think so.”

“Okay. I gotcha.”

You climb into the bed and he curls into your side.

“So here’s the million dollar question, Shadow. I’m just going to put it in the air and you answer however you want to. As much or as little as you can say.”

Shadow is quiet for a long time.

“You said you always knew that I would come home,” he starts, as if calling from far away even as he says it.

“Yes.”

“There were horrible things, Winchester. I. I mean. L-Laura’s dead.”

“What?”

“Just...just from knowing me. Laura’s dead.”

“Oh, Shadow.” You don’t want to tell him that’s not it. You know too many things. And if this is the way he feels, then it’s just true enough for him, taking it away would be utter bullshit.

“And...and when I was away….”

“Yeah?”

“Winch--Winchester, I… I was lynched.”

“WHAT?”

“Odin doesn’t care about that kind of thing,” Shadow whispers fiercely. “It’s no big damn deal to him. You know his mythology. Practically hangs himself for fun.”

You do know.

“But...but I don’t want you to be worried, Winchester, because I’m here and do you know why?”

“Why, Shad? Why, Shadow?”

“Because the faeries came. They burned the ropes. And they said--they said--well I don’t know, I’m not magical like you but I thought they said… it was because I was your friend. Because I helped you. The--the two of us...we’re the team we need, but Tinker Bell… I thought... “

“After all the time apart…”

“You wouldn’t think so. I thought you wouldn’t think so. But it was like you followed me everywhere. Two steps behind. Just puttin’ faerie dust all over everythin’ I ever did.” He breathed hard and started to cry a little. “It wasn’t me. It was you.”

And his tears continue for a long time, but you just hold on.


	14. Until the Light Shines Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's you, it's me, it's love - The Girl & I

You wake up with the sensation in your eyes and forehead that you’ve been crying all night. You can see from Shadow’s face that he has too.

You brush his face gently. 

“I’m reaching my limit,” he greets you.

“But I’m here.”

“Yes. You’re here.” He closes his eyes and smiles. “Yes. Yeah. And that’s perfect. That’s perfect. You are a gift.”

“From…”

“Let’s not--say his name, I’m not sure if I’m over it or if I should be.”

You sigh. “I understand.”

“From the faeries. You’re a gift. And you’re from the faeries.”

You sit and consider this for a while. 

Shadow lumbers out of bed and crosses to you, kissing you on the top of the head. “I’ll make coffee.”

“My hero.”

You pad into the kitchen after him, though, and wrap your arms around his neck. “Mmm. Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“When you got home.”

“Yeah?”

“After everything you saw…” You consider how to ask this. You really want to know what Shadow was scared of--and was it you?

“Shadow, I was just being me, I was doing normal, well I guess, what I thought was normal human stuff.”

“You do do normal human stuff.”

“So after everything you saw….were you...scared to come home?”

He stops dead. “No.” It’s certain but it’s also angry.

And that’s all you need to hear to know Shadow was kept away. Not just separated at The House on the Rock so you could both do what you needed. He was kept away.

“I shouldn’t have--”

“I had you in here,” Shadow says, covering his heart with his hand. “For three years. And in here.” He points to the side of his head. “And that’s enough. It was enough.”

“It was?”

“Always.”

“And--and--you weren’t sc-scared of me?”

Shadow blinks hard and turns to look at you.

“No. No, sweetheart,” he says, and the words rush through you. “How could I be scared of the person I love?”

You start shaking. “I’m not--”

“You are. You’re perfect. My faerie.”

A smile blooms across your face, “Well, yes. I am that. Your faerie. If you want me. If you want me that way. I’m not really--like everyone you know.”

“Don’t worry. I know you’re a little bit more literal when you really want a tall drink of water if that’s what you’re getting at.”

You burst into laughter and then into tears. “Shadow…”

“I know you, Winchester. And I’m still here. If you’ll have me, I’ll always be here, at your side.”

“You don’t feel weird about--about stuff?”

“I’ve had a lot of time to think,” Shadow says, “And what I think about is you. I’m here if you want me.”

“Even--even if Sam comes back?”

“Even if Sam comes back. Let him come. I’ll eat him for breakfast. We both can. Together.”

“I don’t...deserve--”

“No. Stop. This is exactly the thing. This is exactly the thing you do. You do deserve. Anyway, do I deserve what I choose?”

“Yes. Of course.”

Shadow plunks down two mugs in front of you and pulls half a pasty from the fridge and plates it in front of you, “Well, if you want me to do this for us every morning I will. How’s that sound to you?”

“You know the way to my heart.” You’re still crying, and you might not ever stop, but you pull him into a hug all the same and when he reaches to hold your hand you let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's pause here for a while and bask in this moment. There is more schmoop to happen, but I also have to figure a few things out so *plays Monty Python intermission music* LOOK AT THE CUTENESS. IDK about you but I'm a lil jealous... ;)


	15. The Light Continues to Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marguerite Olsen makes good on a promise.

“I never thought that was going to happen,” Shadow says with wonder in his voice.

A sudden realization comes over you. “This...is what you were afraid of,” you say quietly.

“Part of it. My heart was hurting so much then. Coming home helped so much, but….”

You nod. “Okay.” A soft sigh escapes your lips. “Poor love. I’ve got you now.”

“Thank you.”

“Mm. A lot has happened.”

Shadow nods. “A lot.”

“Shadow?”

“Mm?”

“C’mere.” He stands in front of you and you lean forward into him, wrapping your arms around him and letting out a breath. “I didn’t think it would either. With anyone.”

Shadow nods. “That. That’s why I was scared. Nervous. Not scared. I could never be scared of you.” He wraps his own arms around you and the two of you rock a little bit in place. 

“I--” You lean up, standing on your toes and he leans down a little bit toward you. “I’ve always wanted to see if I could make this happen, too,” you say a little sheepishly, and then you lean up a little farther and kiss him on the lips.

And then there is light. Light everywhere. Shining through you, and all through the air, rippling like liquid fire and brightening the edges of everything in the room, filling the space, racing out of the room and shining so bright there’s music. It starts as a tone, then the thread together and fill the space, like tinkling bells, and gentle, deep horns. 

The kiss itself isn’t so much physical as it is energetic, as it is music, sound and light and a sudden release of so much tension.

You laugh a little nervously and meet each other’s eyes. 

“Um, wow,” you whisper. 

“Really.” Shadow leans into you and breathes. “Wow.” 

You giggle a little. “Well I guess there's a reason why I don't do that often--or like at all.”

“Cassie? Lisa?”

“I mean...yeah, but no. It wasn’t like that. Hey…”

“Sorry, that was….”

“No. It’s okay. But hey….c’mere.” You shift a bit nervously and reach out to him. “Can I?” 

“Whatever you need….”

“No, if you want, this is...here…” You reach out and cover his heart with your hand and lean up and kiss him again.

And you feel the music as it moves through him. 

When the clenched energy around his heart finally releases, you feel that too. And suddenly he laughs, and it's the laughter that you remember. 

“There's my Shadow.”

“God, I love you.”

“I love you too. There's your faerie dust, baby. You like it?”

“God, yeah.”

“I got you.”

“I know you do. I know.”

“Won't let you go again. Not ever.”

And you can tell he believes it.

*~*~*

Thankfully, no one was home in the Olsen apartment as far as you both know. You're pretty sure, because no one comes to bang on your door for the fireworks that pretty much literally went off in your apartment that morning. Later on, though, you can both hear Marguerite shuffling around next door. She’s sniffling and everything but seems to try to get it under control, because within a few minutes of you noticing her presence back in the building your doorbell rings and she’s standing on the other side of your apartment door holding a pie tin and a huge oven dish of baked pasta.

“I know you’re living on pasties, and they’re good, but I thought I’d bring you some variety,” she says.

Shadow grins at her. “Winchester, there’s pie! We have acheived pie!” 

She smiles back. “How’d I know what Winchester was gonna like?”

“I dunno, I’ve met less transparent people in my life, dunno about you.”

“I have to say I think I agree.”

“Thank you so much, um…”

“Call me Marguerite.”

“I’m Shadow.”

“Good to see you’re feeling better,” she offers, the tiniest bit quieter.

“Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah. Head cold.”

“Winter’ll do that to ya. Listen, I gotta get back, I just wanted to drop this off. It looks nice in here. You all keep the place clean. Sorta shiny, it’s neat….”

Shadow smiles again. “Yeah...uh.”

“Thank you, Marguerite,” you call from just behind him. “I’ll make sure to lay waste to this food and get your dishes back to you soon.”

“No way is Winchester kidding about that. Thanks again. So much. We’ll see you soon.”

So. The apartment is shiny. Well...it’s worth it.

You exchange a look with Shadow. You're going to help Marguerite Olsen somehow if it's the last thing either of you do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweaking stuff a little bit as I go. This is pretty much getting posted almost as soon as it is finished which is why it suffers from a lot of issues lots of my writing does before like the third draft, but I figure y'all can handle it. Updated/removed/tweaked some tags to be more accurate, as I've done a couple of times.


	16. Pie and Intrigue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't feeling super well and have a very busy week (starting from today) so wasn't sure I'd get anything posted today, but officially, this is comfort-writing for me. So once I felt better I decided to give it a go. Apologies for any pacing issues, and length, here.

You eat the pie and try not to demolish it. It’s blueberry, and it’s _good_ and you wonder if Marguerite knows that faeries, well, faeries love little offerings. It’s not that you’ve ever asked for them, hell you weren’t even sure you were a faerie for a long time, it’s just that people get a feeling from you and bring them.

And that’s pretty cool. You take them gladly.

Shadow has set out a glass of milk next to your slice of pie and you two exchange an amused look. He definitely knows by now. It’s not a thing you talk about directly, but he knows the rhythm of things.

“Tea later?”

“You bet your ass.”

“You know, you get more like a weird little faerie every day,” he says.

“Dunno, you think it has to do with sorta getting permission to be me?”

“Probably. No regrets.”

“Anyway, I’m _your_ faerie, does that make this your fault?”

Shadow is laughing, his big, real laugh when--boom--something falls in the other room.

You exchange a look and follow him in there. He finds the huge library tome sitting on the floor.

There’s a page open in front of you, face up.

Someone really familiar is looking up at both of you from an incredibly washed out and aged photograph.

“No…” Shadow says, but your hunter training kicks in.

“Yes.”

“Hinzelmann,” you say together. Both of you imagine the thunderclap that would come from the Norse right about now.

The date on the photo is 1908.


	17. Making Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shadow and Winchester make plans. So does Marguerite.

“1908? He’s older, but really spry. You’d have to be to keep living out here,” Shadow was saying. Both of them were pacing the kitchen with tea in hand, though it was mostly forgotten.

“Well, yeah, and don’t forget this is _his_ town.”

“Did he say that? That’s so creepy now.”

“Lots of towns like this are creepy. Do you think there’s anything weird in the pasties?”

“Oh, God, don’t go all Sweeney Todd on me now,” Shadow said.

“Hey, that production we saw way back in college was really good.”

“That was a good vacation. Okay, stay on task, Winchester.”

“Listen, I’m not the hunter in my family, I’m just the faerie, it’s like we have distraction built in.”

“Don’t do the winking thing.”

“Why not? Don’t you think it’s cute?”

Shadow sighed and laughed. “Yes. Dork.”

“I am that too. A faerie dork.”

“Okay, so Winchester’s down for the count with tea. I guess I’m gonna have to figure something out.”

“I dunno, who would know stuff?”

You look at each other in tandem. “Marguerite.”

“Seems like the answer always comes back to the hornet’s nest we haven’t disturbed yet,” you say.

“Ain’t that the truth.”

*~*~*

“So I guess we need a plan for what to ask her.”

“Gently, Winchester, she’s been through hell, like both of us.”

“We’re the best people to talk to her. Clearly people in this town are just letting it happen to her.”

Shadow nods and sighs. “When? And both of us, or?”

“Let’s put stuff in plastic wrap and get her her dishes back.”

“Now?”

“Now. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

“Me too. I just don’t like hearing you say it.”

“Faerie dust….”

“Dork. But yes. Good idea.”

“She needs some. Come on, love.”

Each of you dump the remainders of her very good home cooked food into tupperware like somewhat-organized bachelors and then head over, each carrying one dish. 

You ring the bell and she answers, eyes red-rimmed.

“Hi, Marguerite. We thought you could use some cheering up, or at least your dishes back,” Shadow says. In the background he can see--and definitely hear--a young kid playing in the background.

“Oh, hi, all,” she says. Hi, um, Winchester. Hi, Shadow. This is Leon. Leon, say hi.”

Leon stares out at them and says nothing. There’s something too intense in his eyes. You swallow hard. You know that look.

“Marguerite--” you start.

“Listen, I know you’re going to think I’m a broken record, but I like feeding people. And I don’t know how to cook for just me and Leon anymore. Today’s Monday, right? Wednesday night if you both want to come out of your cocoon, I’m having a little get together here, and you’re invited.”

“Just as long as it’s okay with you, ma’am,” Shadow basically agrees right off the cuff.

“Quickest way to my heart is my stomach,” you say and grin.

“Dinner. Seven o’clock?”

“Sure. Thanks so much, Marguerite.”

“I feel pretty good about having you as neighbors. I wanna make sure you feel at home.”

“Great. Thank you again.”

*~*~*

There’s one more thing to come out of the cocoon for. You dump one of your last needles for hormones in the sharps container and look at Shadow. “Wanna take a trip with me in a couple days to get some more of these babies refilled?”

“Is it that easy?”

“Well, yes and no. They’re not gonna deliver to the frozen tundra.”

“Let’s see what’s going on with Marguerite, okay? I might have to stay behind.”

You smile. “Yeah. Good case work, Shadow.”

“Worried about her.”

“Me too, babe.”

“This place is weird.”

“That it is. That it is.”

Shadow sighs. “We need more tea to deal with this.”

“That we do. That we do.”

*~*~*

After the kiss that announced itself with such--fervor--you are waiting and watching everything a little bit nervously.

Shadow eyes you now and then. “Winchester?”

“It’s shiny,” you say. “It’s still shiny.”

He smiles, not worried at all. “Yes. You generally are a little shiny. Not in a bad way. It’s been getting more pronounced.

“Inner faerie coming out,” you muse.

“It’s beautiful.”

“It could be...more than that.”

“I know. But I’ll take it.”

“How’s your heart?”

“Incredible. Th-thank you. Just...incredible.”

You muse over this.

“If I didn’t know I was sending you faerie dust,” you say, setting down your mug, “Then you must have called for it. Somehow.”

“Nah, Winchester, I’m not magic, not like that.”

You give him an incredulous look that lasts, until you say, “Shadow, you’re the one who dragged me into this world.”

“You sure it wasn’t Sam or John?”

“Okay, well….”

“Ah ha,” Shadow teases.

“All right, fine. But you helped. The way you used to hold court at school! You think that’s because you’re John Doe?” you ask him gently. You do it without mentioning your Father’s name, although you have some pretty major suspicions. You do add one more thing, though. “And anyway, you were definitely the reason for the music.”

Shadow stops and blinks up at you.

“Drink your tea, love, before it gets cold.”


	18. Marguerite and Sandy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winchester and Shadow share a room, they spend an evening with Marguerite and feel a little out of place, but only a little....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying to make the spoilers or later points in AG sooooooooooooooo general in this....I hope I am succeeding. :)

“I feel like the storm’s comin’ again,” Shadow says. You’re pulling the last of your bags into his room.

“Listen,” you say, as you drop your bag, “Whatever it is....we’ve got this. That’s why….we were sent here.”

Shadow sighs. “You can say his name,” he says, but he looks a little wobbly as he says it.

“Ssh. No. Come on.” You climb into bed beside him. You both wrap your arms around each other and arrange yourselves for maximum contact.

“You know, Laura and I…” Shadow trails off.

“It wasn’t the same?”

Shadow laughs a little uneasily, “I don’t think _most_ people get the kind of magic that you and I did--do. But no. We were just...two kids still trying to figure things out.”

“I know.”

“Now she’s dead.”

“Kind of thing follows me and Sam, too,” you say.

“It does? Yeah. I guess it does.”

You both fall into the quiet of the night. He squeezes you a little tighter and you squeeze back just as hard, maybe harder.

_It’s okay. It’s okay. Please. It’s okay._

*~*~*

At Marguerite’s, it’s comfortable. Or at least as comfortable as she can make it. Somehow you feel like she’s a kindred spirit, not in a magic woo woo way, just...you vibe the same as her.

But she’s hurting.

There is Leon, playing quietly and trying to keep things on an even keel. But there are pictures, too, of someone else who isn’t here.

“That’s my Sandy,” she says, as you, Shadow and her half sister, Samantha sit and eat an amazing lasagna. “I thought you should know. You might have guessed. He’s gone.”

 

Samantha and Shadow are squinting at each other but whatever they’re both thinking--it looks like the ‘you look familiar’ look but you can’t be sure--they both decide to basically drop it.

Samantha also watches you with some amount of interest. She smiles a little bit of a knowing smile that you remember from college, especially the times you met other queer folks on campus so long ago.

Oh. Okay. 

So she sees you and Shadow for who you are. And Marguerite isn’t batting an eye either. And maybe that’s really the point of this little excursion.

Maybe.

Maybe.

But there’s the case. Hinzelmann and a dead son named Sandy.

You and Shadow try not to excuse yourself too early but you can tell Marguerite is tired and Samantha just came in on the bus last night.

“Marguerite...thank you for this meal,” you say gently. And you’re not sure if it works, but you try to leave a little faerie dust behind you when you leave. It seems like the place might be a little brighter than it was when you came in.

You’re both on the case.


	19. Hinzelmann

The next morning, after the tightest hug you can give Shadow, you leave the house to make the long trek to pick up your hormones. You have to make it to a box store pharmacy you were able to transfer your prescription to, so you have quite a drive ahead of you. It’s the first time you’ve been away from Shadow since he came home, at least for this long. Something in the pit of your stomach tells you he’s going to have a hell of a lot of news for you when you get home.

You left him with log books from the library that are mostly about the construction of the town. You don’t tell him straight up but you both know without saying that there’s something weird about the books, especially since you saw definitely-Hinzelmann in the 1908 town photo.

Still, Shadow’s got to be alone sometime, and his argument that he should be around the town to not miss anything, well, anything to write home to Odin about, it was pretty solid.

Still, something is off and you know it. You let him know before you leave that you’re going to be as fast as you can and you hope he believes you this time.

*~*~*

An hour after Winchester leaves the house, the doorbell rings.

So far Shadow’s found Hinzelmann in the 1908 photo, the 1907 photo… and yes, Winchester did grab for the very, very first book on record, the year of the founding of the town.

And there he is.

Hinzelmann is there too.

And then he’s at the apartment door.

He looks exactly the same. And he’s carrying a gift basket.

“I just thought you’d like to know,” he’s saying, while Shadow hears that same far away half-speech he heard when they told him Laura was dead, “The town took up a collection and bought you more raffle tickets. And here’s some coupons. Of course, _everyone_ knows who you are, you know, the women all think, ‘tall, dark and mysterious,’ and they want to know everything. So you don’t really _need_ the coupons but they’re here for you all the same. We’re hoping you have a long, happy time here in Lakeside.”

Wah wah wah. Bad trombone noises. Still, at the back of his mind Shadow’s aware that’s what Hinzelmann said, somehow.

_I believe everything._

“Hinzelmann...tell me about the raffle.”

“Oh, well every year the garage donates a car they couldn’t really save. We have this competition to see when the ice will thaw. It’s really just a town tradition… You’re going to let us know if you win the raffle, aren’t you?”

_Oh, buddy, for sure, you betcha._

“Sure, Hinzelmann. Of course.”

Shadow wants to call out mentally to Winchester and let him know what’s going on, but he’s a bit cornered in the damn apartment right now and anyway it wouldn’t work. So he starts advancing toward and through the door. “Thanks, Hinzelmann. We have a lot of tickets between the two of us and this is really generous of you, so….we’ll definitely let you know.”

_Keep your face neutral. Keep your face neutral._

__

__

_Wait for Winchester. Winchester always knows how to solve a case. It’s what they do._

But in the end...Shadow can’t do that. He waits for Hinzelmann to get the hint and leave. And then he races out to the lake and to the car on the ice.

If he happens to be carrying a crowbar, well, sometimes he needs to bang on the furnace with that, it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to have around.


	20. On the Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results of the raffle, more or less.

You are in the parking lot of the pharmacy when you notice the light change a little.

Inside the car, you haven’t even done anything but the fireflies are out and lighting the way.

Something’s happening. Something’s happening back at the apartment.

All the way back in Lakeside.

“Father. Odin. Thor. Tyr. Loki. Gabriel. Jade. Whoever the hell can hear me at this point.” You say it all out loud. “Shadow is going to need you. Please come for us.”

Then you do your best to floor it driving through the frozen tundra. You can’t get in an accident. You almost never drive in a car alone. What were you thinking? Nevermind Shadow, he’s been doing better and has more of his wits about him than you sometimes do, but you’ve got to get home and you’ve got to figure out what you’ll be walking into when you get there.

 

You turn your mind to the case.

So. Hinzelmann. 1908. Seems like a fairly benign creature and might even be protecting you and Shadow while you’re in Lakeside. Maybe. Maybe.

But there’s something else. All the way here you’ve been seeing posters. Posters of kids. They are all the same basic format, and you’ve been tuning them out but now your mind turns to Sandy and his mom, Marguerite, and how good she is and how she has never deserved that, no one’s deserved that. The story over dinner had been, “ex-husbands,” but what about The Artist Formerly and Currently Known as Hinzelmann? Right? Right? Shit.

You inch up further on the gas. You remember dedicating the workings of your car to Odin and you laugh a little, hoping your Father can help get you home.

*~*~*

The lake is deserted. No one wants to walk across it with it this close to thawing and Shadow knows he’s taking a risk but he’s got to, he’s got to.

It doesn’t take long to start slamming the car open. He breaks a window and reaches in, pops the trunk.

He doesn’t smell it at first, the smell from the body of the girl. But he does know the smell. He knows the smell from where he’s been, where he went after college and the House on the Rock that Winchester doesn’t even know he’s been, not a standard issue prison but when he was carted off to do Wednesday’s business and got into it with Technical Boy again. He survived the lynching but he didn’t escape the goons, and the three years he spent in their locked facility were worse than anything he’d ever expected to happen to him.

There had been bodies there.

Oh, for the love of God.

The ice cracks under his weight. He, and the car, and the body all fall in a whoosh into the frigid water. 

He looks up through the darkness and he can see fireflies.

He can hear a car horn. 

_Winchester. Oh, Winchester._

 

*~*~*

Shadow is below the ice and swims to the bottom of the lake. There are all the cars, with the trunks in various states of open or closed or half rotted away and there are garbage bags floating everywhere, garbage bags that you know hold the remains of kids and teens just like the girl he found in this year’s model.

He would almost throw up but all he’d get would be a lungful of air.

The water, the sky, everything is lighting up, and up, and up, and up. He drops the crow bar. How is he going to find the way back up through the hole?

If the fireflies are here, is Winchester here?

_Oh, please, oh shit._

_Please._

There’s a whoosh of air and water from above and two arms in a familiar leather jacket come around Shadow’s middle. He can see everything, he can feel everything, until his head breaks the surface of the water again and then he’s woozy and feels like he’s going to pass out.

He spits up water and chokes out, “The kids…”

“I know,” Winchester is saying from far away. In another moment Shadow is passed out in their arms.

When Shadow comes to he’s in their apartment. He’s in the bath, warm water everywhere that doesn’t feel like it.

Winchester is covered in blood.

It’s blood but it’s...not the right color.

Shadow looks around. In the corner of the room is a twitching mass, like the oldest half-animated corpse in the world. “Holy shit.”

“Hinzelmann,” Winchester says, gruff and heated in a way Shadow hasn’t heard from him before.

“How did you get--home--I--he came--had...a confrontation… I’m so cold.” Shadow switches from topic to topic, terrified. “How?”


	21. Family Ties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things come together.

Shit. He’s scared of you.

“Shad. Shad. Ssssh. Shadow. Breathe.”

And he does, or he tries to.

“Winchester?”

“It was the fireflies,” you say as calmly as you can. “And then...your friends, our friends.”

“What? Who?”

“Gabriel and Amitiel. Jade.”

“Shit, how?”

“They….well, Gabriel flew. As soon as they heard my call.” 

“Like, in the air?”

“In the air.”

“You calm me down so much… Are we sure Hinzelmann is dead?”

“Pretty sure. I’ve hunted a thing like him or two in my time. Pretty close to a striga but…”

“Winchester….”

“Oh, sorry. Shadow, are you upset?”

“I...don’t know.”

“I gotta hand it to you for your honesty. Listen, I’ll be right here.”

“Do you want…” Shadow asked, “Is it weird if you hold my hand? I don’t even...I mean you’re covered in...why don’t you take some of that off,” Shadow gestures loosely toward your jacket.

“Kinky.”

“Winchester….”

“Sorry...I make stupid jokes when I….”

“You’re in hunter mode.”

“Shadow, I almost lost you. I had to find a mode.”

He nods. He knows you’re right. You can see it on his tired face. “Thank you,” he says. “Jesus. Thank you.”

You strip out of your jacket and all the way down until your shirt is off, then run your arms under the tap for a while.

No more blood.

Then you cross to Shadow and hold his hand.

He leans back a little. “The faerie dust. It worked.”

“Yeah. It worked. Again.”

*~*~*

An hour later, Shadow is in bed and Amitiel and Gabriel are in the kitchen.

“We did hear you, older Winchester, but also…”

“Something’s coming, isn’t it.”

“Not today, but soon. We shall stay close to you. The battle is at hand.”

“Sam’s coming.”

“Likely.”

“I can’t believe I almost lost Shadow. He’s scared now, he’s…”

“Once again with your faerie dust you shall both find a way. You two are too bonded for anything else to occur.”

“How do you know?”

“Honey,” Jade says, smiling a little, “Today was a hard day, but we all know, even, especially, the heavens know. It’s just something we’ve always known.”

“What?” you ask, “Like written in the stars kind of thing?”

“Well, if you were going to survive?” she says, “Yeah.”

*~*~*

You feel it the moment that Shadow wakes up again and you excuse yourself to join him in your room.

“You saved my life,” he whispers, “Again.”

“And I always will. Shadow, you’ve saved my life too. A hundred different ways.”

“S-stay. Please. Oh, God.”

“I’m right here. You’re safe.”

“Sam’s coming.”

“What?” you ask him.

“I feel...the storm...Sam….”

It’s your turn to be spooked.

_Written in the stars._

“Not right now. Just let me be with you tonight, Shadow.”

And you curl agaisnt him like so many other nights, and you are.

*~*~*

You awaken to the sound of a window breaking. You feel him more than see him. You grab the baseball bat that’s beside the bed and head out into the main room. Amitiel and Gabriel are already standing at the ready. They’ve cornered him. Cornered Sam.

“Sam!” you bark out in the gruff voice of a hunter once more. “Where’s your knife?”

The green-tinted shadow almost wavers somehow. “In the car,” he growls.

“Don’t lie. Drop the knife, Sam.”

You know his knife, a present from John for his sixteenth birthday that he keeps in amazingly good condition, a deadly half-moon.

It thuds to the floor and you’d know the sound anywhere.

You hear Shadow walking up behind you, light on his feet but you can feel his terror.

“Sammael,” Gabriel cuts in, deliberately standing between you and Sam. “This is the end now. You will not torment anyone any more. There will be no more deaths because of you, because of this war.”

Shadow is beside you now and reaches for your hand. You let him take it and he squeezes your fingers in his: he has a plan.

You close your eyes and nod. “Yes.” you whisper and then he knows. You reach gently for his heart and link it to yours, creating a circuit that flashes at the last second. You push outward with one arm and a blast of energy moves from him to you and back and then along your arm and outward to Sam. To Sammael. To Mr. World. Whoever it is who has filled your nightmares for so long.

“Dean, no,” he calls, and if you had any time now you’d throw up at the use of that name and that is when you know. He was never family. Not this way. Not the way you needed.

“I dedicate this death in the name of Odin,” you scream, and the light between you and Shadow explodes forward and into Sam’s chest.

*~*~*

You cry afterwards. Because he wasn’t family, but he was. And you’ll probably cry until the end of your days. The truth was, if you hadn’t known about the knife ahead of time from years of training with the kid you know Sam would have killed you with it no questions asked right then and there.

You saved yourself. So why does it feel so shitty?

*~*~*

All the lights are on in the apartment. And Gabriel and Amitiel look at both of you, impressed. You did what you had to do and you and Shadow are still standing.

“Jade,” you murmur, while the light of the faeries still dances in your eyes. “Come here.”

She does, trusting and confused at once.

“Your wings.” And you put an arm out to her and a thread of light leaves your hand as it touches her gently.

Some of this energy, you know, comes from the last of what was Sam, the last of Mr. World, and maybe Sammael. Some of it comes from the rest of her brothers and sisters from her realm. But as before, some comes from the faeries. Enough comes from the faeries. Other winged beings.

The thread weaves its way through the air and into the shape of wings, moving out, out, out, until finally her wings are a beautiful shadow all along the far wall.

“Now you can choose to go home. Both of you, if you wish.”

Shadow is smiling, and for that...you’d give anything. Anything.

This time, when Gabriel and Amitiel leave, it is with awe and gratitude in their hearts, and two pairs of wings--they fly away together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all, folx! This was my planned ending the whole time (Well, most of it), but I wasn't really expecting/sure of where the rest of this section would go--at least, that part wasn't planned. There is now a part 14 for those who wanted even more, but this is the official ending of the story of Tinker Bell Winchester and Peter Pan Sam. (*shudder* Peter Pan Sam, what a creeper!) I hope you enjoyed! These two greatly improved my summer, and I may yet have more of this pairing up my sleeve, but not for this novella. :) Thanks for reading! Also, thanks for your patience with my playing with tags!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Tinker Bell](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11342808) by [roguefaerie (samidha)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie)
  * [To Fill the Air With Words](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11649411) by [roguefaerie (samidha)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie)




End file.
